Building Resiliency During Intense Times
We are living through a time of tremendous uncertainty. Our minds and our nervous systems are on high alert, reacting to the latest ‘dings’ on our phones with a mixture of panic and avoidance. Here are some thoughts, a few quick resets you can do for your nervous system, and some online resources for more information.
First off, it can be helpful to remind ourselves that, across the globe, in every country, every citizen is being affected by the combination of covid-19 and its ripple effect on our financial, social, and personal stability. We might be able to take comfort in the knowledge that we are all in this together, and that whatever is happening to us on an individual level, is happening to many others at the same time. We can remember that, in past times of global crisis, when people work together to find answers, solutions often appear. We are not alone!
Secondly, change is always infused in our lives. In periods of relative calm, we often miss the more subtle changes that occur daily. A wise Zen Master would answer his students’ questions with – “DON’T KNOW.” One student would ask, “What is the purpose of life,” only to be answered with, “DON’T KNOW!” Another would say, “what is enlightenment,” and would receive the same answer, “DON”T KNOW.” While uncertainty is one thing, it can be extremely unsettling to experience periods when change is dramatic and dangerous. What we can count on is that, no matter how distressing this moment is, it will change into something else. And that next moment will transform into something else, and so on and so forth. The discomfort we are currently in will, at some point, settle down. What we don’t know, of course, is what it will settle into, and when.
What this means is that we have to radically accept that we are in the midst of a tumultuous change that we hope to ride as best we can. What we can do, to help minimize our stress, is to help our nervous system ‘down regulate,’ meaning, help our body respond to the intensity of this time rather than to react in a heightened and chaotic manner.
The following tips may be helpful.
1. Pause. Simply stop what you are doing, notice what your thoughts are telling you, and what your body is feeling. To shift into being more present in the present moment, look around your surroundings and really focus on what you are seeing. Take a deeper inhalation and a longer exhalation while you take in the sights and sounds of your world, perhaps lingering on something that brings you happiness. The color of the walls in your room? The scenery outside your window? The sounds of your kids playing? Take several seconds to remind yourself of the safety of your surroundings and bring to mind a memory that is pleasant from another point in time.
2. When doing familiar tasks, such as eating your favorite food or drinking your morning coffee/protein shake/green tea latte, attend to the experience in a new way by opening your senses. What are the smells? The tastes? The colors? The temperature? The way your body experiences the food entering the stomach? Pause long enough for your body and mind to focus on this pleasurable experience. Repeat this as often as you like, because the more often we practice this, the more often we will use this to reset and enjoy our moment to moment experiences.
3. Check out what your body is feeling. Scan the inside of you! Try to watch and observe exactly what is happening within your body. In this way, you will be growing what is often called your Inner Witness or Loving Awareness. By cultivating this witnessing capability, you are increasing your ability to sustain your focus on the moment you actually are in, rather than being focused on worry thoughts about the future or painful longings for the past.
4. Some people find it helpful to say a phrase to themselves to remind them of a state of mind they’d like to be in. Perhaps repeat to yourself, “fully present in the present moment;” or “ease, safe, protected.” Others find that, with some practice, they are able to visualize a calming place that they can bring to mind to re-regulate the body and dislodge worry thoughts. Once you place yourself in this internal space, take several deep inhales and exhales to shift your focus into the present moment.
5. Try this grounding technique: Put your focus of awareness into your right foot, then into your left foot, then take a deep breath. Count -1- when aware of your right foot; -2- when aware of your left foot; and take a breath to pause and reset into calm. Repeat this again and again as needed.
I will be opening a free online 4-week introduction to mindfulness meditation program, beginning in April 2020. Contact me at kwalant@gmail.com for more information.
For more online information, try these:
https://www.tarabrach.com/create-home-retreat/
https://jackkornfield.com/compassion-in-the-time-of-coronavirus/
https://www.rickhanson.net/being-resilient-during-coronavirus/
Here are meditation apps that are very helpful:
https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide