The holiday season—while it brings invitations to spend time extra with loved ones, give and receive, practice gratitude, celebrate, and cultivate joy—can also feel stressful, overwhelming and lonely for some, especially if this season of lights feels dark. 

With so much going on, many of us also fall out of our normal routines with meditation, diet, exercise and other forms of spiritual practices and self-care, which can lead to feeling unsettled. We may be trying to navigate added tasks, events and responsibilities, leaving little time for reflection and, potentially, causing us to think, feel or act without wise effort, which is one of the categories offered through the noble eightfold path. 

For those of you unfamiliar, the noble eightfold path is one of the cornerstones of Buddhist philosophy. It consists of eight aspects of life, all to be practiced and integrated everyday, and can be best explained as the middle path. The intent of these eight prescriptions is to help us focus on living in accordance with the highest version of ourselves by encouraging a turning away from extremes and, instead, seeking a simple, compassionate approach to how we live our lives. 

According to the Buddha, the eight categories include wise view, wise resolve, wise speech, wise action, wise livelihood, wise mindfulness, wise concentration and wise effort. 

The eightfold path covers a lot so, for now, I’m going to focus on cultivating wise effort, as many of us “over-effort,” especially this time of year when, rather than resting and recharging, as we see in nature, we are often moving at a fast pace. The idea is to be mindful (drawing from the mindfulness category) of our efforts so that we can be more present and, ideally, feel more engaged and joyful as we close out 2021 and move into the new year. 

Understanding Right And Wise Effort

Simply put, wise effort is doing just the right amount—essentially what can be called the Goldilocks, “just right” approach. However, we live in a society that tends to promote excess and places significant importance on achievements and success, rather than walking a steady, tempered path. 

As mentioned, many of us over-effort in order to get somewhere, achieve success, become more enlightened, impress our friends, the list goes on and on. Joseph Goldstein, author, vipassana teacher, and co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society (along with Jack Kornfield and Sharon Salzberg) advises us to note when we notice that we are meditating with the intent of achieving anything. This “anything” is that which pushes us out of the present moment, sets an expectation on what we ought to be experiencing and, really, is anything but welcoming the moment we’re in with kindness and acceptance. 

Whether in meditation or in life in general, it can be difficult to stay present and find the “just right” approach. However, drawing from and practicing wise effort, as defined by the Buddha, can help us move toward the beauty of the middle way.

According to the Buddha, wise or right effort is cultivating the energetic will to: prevent evil and unwholesome states of mind from arising; get rid of such evil and unwholesome states that have already arisen; produce/cause to arise good and wholesome states of mind that have not yet arisen; and develop and bring to perfection the good and wholesome states of mind already present. 

In the first suggestion, the Buddha wants us to position ourselves to be in circumstances and conditions that would lead to healthy, rather than unhealthy mind states. For example, using substances would likely lead us to be less clear headed, or being in a job or relationship in which we continually feel demeaned would make it more difficult to remember our essential goodness. That list could go on and on. 

The Buddha’s second invitation to get rid of unwholesome states is also important. This invitation asks us to cultivate our skills. For instance, to use the example of our meditation practice, if we tend to meditate when tired and fall asleep, we might try a different time to meditate, or caffeine! Or, we might alter how we meditate by sitting up or walking or shifting the kind of meditation we are using. We could also focus on reminding ourselves of our intentions, especially if we notice a tendency to allow our minds to wander for the entirety of our practice, in which case, we are habituating to mind wandering and not clarity of focus and mind. The Buddha even suggests that if certain thoughts continually come over us, we take a firm stance and say, “No! Stop! Not now!”  We can improve our meditation practice—and our lives in general—by doubling-down on our mental noting, insisting that we come back again and again to our anchor. And, then use our efforts wisely. 

The third suggestion is for us to put ourselves into situations in which we are likely to be at ease, feel kindness and cultivate love and joy.  The invitation here is to access the world around you. Are you surrounding yourself with people who support you and also want to spread joy and love?  Are you reading books, listening to podcasts and engaging with other forms of media and activities that encourage your growth?  I have finally gotten myself to spend 30 minutes upon awakening, prior to meditating, listening to talks or books that focus on mindfulness, wellbeing and other topics of interest.  Now, when I wake up in the morning, I look forward to this as one of the joys I have as I start my day. 

Once we’ve assured that we’re actively in and continuing to seek out situations that promote a healthy state of heart and mind, the final invitation is to put our effort and energy into sustaining and further developing thoughts and actions that continue to bring goodness into our lives and that of others. 

Using A Firm Hand Of Kindness To Achieve Wise Effort 

There is a technique that I find helpful when focusing on the cultivation of  wise effort as defined by the Buddha. This entails implementing what is implied in the phrase, “the firm hand of kindness,” meaning that we may need to kindly, yet firmly steer ourselves out of or away from compancancy and/or impulse. For instance, we might tell ourselves that one more day of exercising will not make a difference, when truly it does. The kinder thing to do is to remind ourselves that our health matters and then take wise action (another category on the eightfold path) and wise effort and get to the gym or outside for a walk. 

Whether used in self-care, relationships, health and wellness, personal growth, etc, this firm hand of kindness can lead us to the right energy and the right discipline to achieve what we most want, which, most simply and accurately put, is to be relieved of suffering.

To help guide, I’ll leave you with this piece of relevant wisdom that the Buddha offers:  

“Who is your enemy? Mind is your enemy. No one can harm you more than your own mind untamed. And who is your friend? Mind is your friend. No one can help you more than your own mind, wisely trained—not even your own mother and father.”

Let Go Of The Need To Over-Effort And Enjoy A Beautiful Holiday! 

My invitation to you as we move through the final phase of the holidays and into a new year—bright with possibilities of all kinds to live with compassion and as the best versions of ourselves—is to spend some time exploring where and how you use wise effort. Notice where you use it well and expand on that! Also notice where you could use a firm hand of kindness and expand wise effort through wise action to improve the wholesomeness and goodness of your mind and that is inherent in your heart. As you do so, set aside time to take care of yourself compassionately, reminding yourself that you’re doing the best with what you have and celebrating all that you are doing thoughtfully and in love on this chosen path of compassionate living. 

For more insight into compassionate living, cultivating loving kindness toward yourself and others and a simple meditation to help increase compassion, check out my last blog Increasing Compassion: Benefit Yourself And Others Through Loving Kindness And Meditation.  

Holiday blessings to all!