I’m writing this blog on the eve of the spring equinox and cannot think of a better time to continue with this month’s theme of feeling into the reverence of NOW. 

On both the spring and fall equinoxes, the Northern Hemisphere and Southern Hemisphere receive equal amounts of sunlight—12 hours each—bringing balance between light and dark on the Earth.  

Now that we’re moving into spring with longer and stronger days of light, we might take pause and perhaps even feel a sense of reverence for how incredible the seasonal cycles we travel through truly are. As we move past the cold, contraction and dormancy of winter, we can now begin to turn toward new beginnings, renewal and the expansion of spring, perhaps even finding beauty and sacredness in what we normally pass by without much thought. 

Expansion, renewal and new beginnings, however, are not without their own challenges, and transitional change often requires courage, as this poem by P. Soper so aptly captures. 

The Nature of Risk 

What courage, each year, has the tree
to once again birth her leaves,
her pink cherry blossoms or delicate dogwood petals,
knowing in days, weeks or months,
they will wither and fall to the ground.
So, too, the crocus or tulip,
who struggles through the frozen ground,regardless the chance of Spring snowfall.
Even if warned, her flower's glory will be
short-lived.
What freedom to show up, generously share,
sure of one's value to Earth.
Oh, to be like that,
to bloom without fear,
not clinging to longevity,
nor demanding guarantee,
but offer our best without expectation.

Navigating Challenge & Change: Moving Between Contraction And Expansion With Compassionate Curiosity

Again, although new beginnings can bring forth excitement and inspiration, they can also elicit feelings of uncertainty and even fear. Change, challenge and impermanence are inherent parts of the human experience, yet we often meet them with resistance. However, approaching trepidation with a curious mind and doing such with compassion can aid us in expanding our perspectives and, perhaps, uncover something unexpected. 

I recently heard this quote: “Curiosity is inherently compassionate.” And, I immediately loved it because it’s so true!  

When we turn toward that which may feel challenging—like a tulip, for instance, pushing its way up through hard soil and spring snow—rather than turn away, we might try to approach a challenge with an investigative, curious mind and an open heart of tenderness—compassionately and curiously being with ourselves when things are new, difficult or feel uncertain. We can choose to sit quietly, asking ourselves with curiosity rather than judgment about what is causing our discomfort—be that anger, irritability, frustration, uncertainty or sadness.

Turning toward what is, while bringing in the compassion that comes from a curiosity about ourselves and those we are involved with who are having difficulty, can help us avoid feeling overwhelmed and perhaps even discover something beautiful embedded within the challenge and change.

An important aspect of practicing compassionate curiosity, presence and positivity is acknowledging and working to reframe the negativity bias. Social psychologists define negativity bias as the human proclivity to “attend to, learn from, and use negative information far more than positive information.”

Essentially, over time, we have become wired to pay more attention to what seems “bad” rather than what is “good.” And, then we hold on to the negative aspects of any given encounter rather than absorbing the positive, even if there was a lot that was positive in a specific encounter. Insomuch, it’s important that we actively work on skillbuilding and turning our minds toward those positive moments. Turning toward the positive is what is meant in the Buddhist psychology idea of wholesome behaviors—doing what is wholesome, what serves our awakening and what is in our benefit to do. 

What happens though, when we are still met with challenge, pain, disappointment or even uncertainty? 

How can we bring curiosity, gratitude and a wholesomeness into an experience that is no doubt filled with pain or fear? 

Employing Wholesome Skills

To take care of ourselves, if we are beginning to feel overwhelmed rather than inspired (or constricted rather than open and expansive), we might…

Feel our bodies, and perhaps even physically connect with the Earth, as a way to stabilize and stay present. 

Breathe with a sense of lovingkindness, as best we can. 

Provide more rest for ourselves.

Refrain from taking on new projects or turning toward a distraction. 

Engage in physical exercise or massage to reduce the stress hormones of cortisol and adrenaline.

AND—perhaps most importantly of all…

Seek the support and comfort of others, as best we can, when we can—whether that be within our family, with our friends, in support groups, with therapists, doctors, etc—gaining more knowledge so that we are better informed as to what we can DO next.

We can also work on naming the distress we are in and approach the situation with curiosity—with a question mark that is asking, “How can I BEST be with what is here now? How can I use wholesome skills to be a friend to myself, and to others, in this moment of distress?

And then there are those times when the best thing that we can do is to let things just be as they are and to use a skill that I am so fond of—raising our hands in a surrendering manner, saying, “So be it. For now, this is the way it is.” And then to be  curious to see what unfolds when we let go of trying to fix, control or wish that things could be different.

There is tremendous value in being with what actually IS. And, ideally, to find some nugget of gratitude or even reverence for what we may be learning, uncovering or discovering in any given moment. In doing so, we can sometimes save ourselves the pain of fighting for something different. 

The encouragement here is to turn toward what we can do that is wholesome—that which can bring a little kindness and compassion to what is painful. Even a one percent level of change can be enough.

My encouragement as we move out of the contraction of winter and into the expansion of spring is to try to be with whatever your experience is, as best you can. Bring your curiosity, bring your care and bring your nurturance as you cultivate a loving, wholesome space so that you can encourage yourself to be with what is here, right now.

Awaken To Your World With Compassionate Curiosity 

This short practice, which I learned from the work of meditation teachers Bill and Susan Mogan, is designed to help bring curiosity, a deeper awareness and, ideally, gratitude, appreciation and sense of wonder into the world that is all around us. When we find ourselves in distress, suffering and in the midst of a challenge, mindfully returning—again and again—to a place and space of gratitude, inquiry and compassion can go a long way in helping us to remember that, with practice, we can approach each moment with curiosity and more skillfully live with a bit more ease and even a dose of wonder for all that is good—both within each of us and within the world.

The Practice

For the next five minutes, I invite you to walk around your home and pick up two or three different objects. Try to fully give yourself  over to what you were drawn to, looking at them deeply, closely, really studying them.

As you spend 1-2 minutes with each, you might consider:  

What do you see and feel? 

Is there something new in this object that you haven’t noticed before?

How do you relate to the object? 

Can you find a fresh and perhaps even sacred quality in the object? 

You can also take this noticing practice outdoors. As spring is quickly springing forth, perhaps you focus on a flower pushing its way up through cold, dark soil. Or emerging buds on a tree. Or the songbirds of spring. Or even a new blade of grass, coming out of dormancy to join other blades of grass, collectively covering a field in soft green growth. 

Moving Into A New Season Of Compassionate Curiosity And Wonder

To support the themes of reverence and awe and the courage it takes to offer our best with curious compassion, I created guided meditation in homage to spring. In Homage to Spring: A Flower Meditation takes you through a meditation visualization practice of becoming a flower, rising up and out of the darkness and dormancy of winter and growing toward the light. As you visualize yourself in a place of challenge or new beginnings, tapping into the quality of renewal that comes with spring, you may try to feel into being part of, one with, the vibrancy of life itself. 

In closing, I’ll leave you with the words of Michael Stevens in a Natural Mind Dharma Center article, Curiosity and Wonder. 

“When we approach life without so much labeling, we open our eyes to a world full of magic and wonder …

Why would you pass a wildflower and think, “it is only a flower.” That flower is a botanical Buddha offering itself freely to those who would take the time to see, touch, smell, and otherwise engage the floral teacher. She hosts an entire world of color, fragrance, elements, and insects. Why would one not stop and smell, and wonder about, the roses?

It is because we rarely stop. Curiosity and wonder arise when we pause—and take a moment to actually be where we are.”

Bringing a sense of positivity and compassionate curiosity into our present moment experience is what I want to encourage for all of us. When we look at whatever is within and around us using the skill of applying our interest and wonder—that compassionate curiosity—we add an experience of attending, and attending to, what is happening in the NOW and may be able to see challenge and change through a new, fresh and even sacred lens. 

Blessings,
Karen

P.S: If you’re interested in starting or deepening your meditation practice and becoming more skillful in navigating the many aspects of life, I recently launched a newsletter, Grow Your Inner Wisdom—in the midst of it all. This monthly newsletter includes a note from me discussing a different theme each month; the link to the most current blog, which includes a recorded guided meditation that you can access and enjoy at no cost; important and/or interesting news and information; suggestions on books, articles and podcasts; and a poem or practice to help you feel into and connect with the theme of the month. If you’re interested, you can sign up here now!

I also offer an online, donation-based meditation class/guided practice every other Monday night at 7:30pm EST in a relaxed and warm setting on Zoom. The only requirement is an interest in increasing mindful awareness and skills through practice and growing your inner wisdom. If you’re interested in beginning, reconnecting with or deepening your meditation practice in community, we’d love for you to join us! Get more details and register here.