November 2024 Newsletter
The Five Hindrances
The Hindrance of Skeptical Doubt
“Be a lamp unto yourself."
-The Buddha
Hello, Everyone!
I hope that you all enjoyed a lovely Thanksgiving, if you celebrate, spending some time feeling into all the people, places and things in your life that you’re grateful for. I also hope that you spent some time (or will) to thank yourself for being you and all the ways that you show up for yourself and in the world. Respect for and celebration of ourselves can go a long way in helping us work through the self-doubt that we all experience at times.
I know that I’m certainly grateful for each of you and this beautiful, growth-centered community that continually shows up to deepen our mindfulness and meditation practices.
Getting into doubt, in the biweekly, online meditation class that I facilitate (please join us if you’re interested!), this month we focused on the last of the five hindrances, which is skeptical doubt (vicikicchā) in our first meeting, and did a review of all five hindrances in our second. If you’re new to the newsletter and/or want to review the first four hindrances before delving into skeptical doubt here, the previous newsletters on the Five Hindrances series are now live on the blog on my website, which you can click through to here.
The Five Hindrances—How to Skillfully Work with Difficult Energies
The Five Hindrances—Skillfully Working with the Hindrance of Sensual Desire
The Five Hindrances—Skillfully Working with the Hindrance of Ill Will
The Hindrances of Sloth & Torpor/Restlessness & Worry
The Awakening of the Buddha
To get into the fifth hindrance of skeptical doubt, I’ll begin with the infamous story of the Buddha, whose birth name was Siddhartha Gautama. Siddhartha was born into an extremely wealthy family, which he left to become an ascetic monk, seeking answers to why there is suffering and how to remove it. The story goes that after having lived a history of having too much of everything in wealth and then living a renunciation of all material things, including barely eating anything, he finally felt ready to sit in meditation to encourage—to become—enlightened, awake, and fully present.
Siddhartha sat under a tree—the Bodhi tree (the Tree of Enlightenment)—for 49 days and nights, determined not to stop meditating until he knew the causes of suffering and how to be released from it. As he sat, the energy of all the hindrances came to him in a form named Mara (the personification of the forces—the hindrances— antagonistic to enlightenment) who taunted him, trying to stop Prince Siddhartha from awakening. Mara tried to entice him with sensual desires, then tried to anger him, and then moved into all the other hindrances in an attempt to make him feel such discomfort that he’d be swayed from his meditation and stop.
But nothing dissuaded him from his mission.
Frustrated, Mara yelled, “who do you think you are? You think you can become an awakened one? A Buddha?!”
To which The Buddha, who, at this point, had truly awakened, answered, “I belong here. I AM an enlightened one, and the earth is my witness.”
With that, the earth opened wide and waters flowed from within to wash Mara downstream. And, the Buddha—the Awakened One—armed with the assurance of Nature herself, had become enlightened.
From this story, we can see the importance of working with all of the five hindrances— the five mind energy states that lead us away from seeing clearly and full concentration. In this story, we can also see the last of these five hindrances that Mara brought the Buddha in his final arsenal—DOUBT—in forcefully asking him who he thought he was.
Understanding Skeptical Doubt
When we enter into skeptical doubt, we doubt ourselves, the teaching and/or the teacher. This hindrance is marked by indecision, uncertainty and a lack of confidence. Doubt can cause us to hesitate, vacillate and abandon the practice, things we care about, and even ourselves. This hindrance has us question the validity of someone, something or ourselves, and stirs up fears, which can leave us so agitated or overwhelmed that we move into inaction. It can take many forms—the most dangerous being doubt in oneself, which tends to run rampant in today’s world.
We often see self-doubt come forth in reactive doubt, of which the Buddha gave a lot of focus, and is at the crux of this hindrance. This doubt arises spontaneously in response to a situation or circumstance that fuels anxiety and/or insecurity and hinders progress in our meditation practice and in our lives. It holds us back, constricts us, keeps us from reaching our highest aspirations and diminishes our light. It’s called reactive because it comes from the causes and conditions in our lives.
My guess is that each of you reading can easily recall one or more times when you reacted to causes and conditions in your life, doubted yourself, and that doubt led you to hesitate, vacillate or even freeze. This self-doubt, which is borne from a lack of confidence in the self, can be self-fulfilling. If we doubt that we can do something and stay in this hindrance long enough, chances are we will succumb to the doubt and not reach our potential in our meditation practice and in our lives.
Many of us are also afraid to take chances for fear of feeling like a fraud. Our society even has labeled this as imposter syndrome, which is known to afflict people who are perfectionistic, conscientious, anxious, wanting to please, and fear any misstep or any failure. As well as those who have very little faith in themselves. Studies show that 25-30 percent of high achievers suffer from continuously feeling like a fraud, and 70 percent of the general public has had at least one episode of feeling this way. When in this hindrance, people tend to hold themselves back from what they want to achieve because they fear that they aren’t good enough, making SELF-DOUBT the most destructive kind of DOUBT we can have.
Understanding Inquiring Doubt
It’s important to note that skeptical/reactive doubt is just one form of doubt—the destructive, hindering kind—but there’s another form that can be your ally, which is known as inquiring doubt. Rather than hinder our progress on the path, inquiring doubt leads us to ask questions because we seek to know more and want to learn and understand something more fully. Not being certain about things enables us to remain flexible—to be in the present with what’s known now rather than what used to be known— so we can continue exploring and growing. It’s an important, healthy and skillful kind of doubt. From a place of curiosity, we might ask ourselves what else we need to know in a certain situation. Or to contemplate what we might not know, with a certainty that we don’t know all that there is to know.
Whereas skeptical and reactive doubt can close us off, inquiring doubt can bring us to a greater awakening. The lesson is to keep going, keep questioning and keep practicing.
Cat Tales…
What Eve Teaches Us About Doubt & Love
Today, we’re focusing on Eve who has evolved from a scaredy-cat filled with doubt to a loving, securely connected cat. Initially, being a sibling to two other outgoing and insistent siblings, Eve was generally confused. So, while wanting affection, she would hang back in resentment and fear. Fear because Max would ‘nail’ her when she wanted to play with her yellow ball, and resentment because Pearl would jump in my lap and never give her a moment with me.
She signaled her fearful attachment style through her tail. When cats are confident, their tales shoot up in the air and form a bit of a question mark. When they are fearful or unsure, their tales hang low, between their legs. Both Max and Pearl have always signaled self-confidence with their tails shooting high in the air. Yet, Eve’s has always vacillated between tail up, tail down and tail between her legs.
Eve is also very aware of everything I do. She watches me, follows me, and stays near me, even when she’s not sitting on my lap. She’ll stay seated in front of the fridge while I cook, or sit on a chair at the kitchen counter. I talk to her, including her in what I’m doing and thinking, which she seems to love. Lately, I’ve been watching how she approaches me, which she’s become more confident in doing, however, there’s still some hesitation. Still a look in her eye like, as if she’s thinking, “Are you sure you want me with you? I’m not Pearl or Max. Is this okay?” To which, I always welcome her and gesture for her to sit with me.
This realization in her doubt and attachment style is making a huge difference. Whereas she used to swat at Pearl, her rival for attention, she now welcomes and will sit with her. Whereas she used to hide and scowl while Max was playing with me, she now joins in and brings her own yellow ball (if she can find it).
Doubt was the hindrance, and love is the answer. With ongoing mindfulness, this cat is becoming her own Wise One— now strutting around with a newfound inner confidence that translates into a more peaceful relationship with her siblings. The lamp of radiant love warmed dear Eve and taught me perhaps the most valuable lesson of all—with mindful intention, doubt can soften, love can grow and joy can deepen.
As we move into December and this holiday season, the invitation this month is to identify where doubt, particularly self-doubt, is showing up for you. Once you identify it, are there ways that you can work with it to soften it and boost your confidence? Perhaps, try reaching out to a close family member or friend to share this doubt with—someone who knows and loves you. We just saw how this helped dear Eve. Insights and tips in the PRACTICE section on faith and confidence toward the button of this newsletter may help as well.
The second invitation of the month brings us back to the quote from the Buddha at the top of the newsletter.
“Be a lamp unto yourself.”
As we move into this session of lights in which all of the hindrances may come into play, I also invite you to explore what comes to mind when you read this.
What does it mean for you to be a lamp unto yourself?
It’s well known that this was the last teaching that the Buddha gave to his monks on his deathbed, and since we began this newsletter with the story about how Siddhartha Gautama became the awakened one—the Buddha—it seems fitting to close with this final story, teaching and the Buddha’s own last words, which may be especially fitting as we enter into this season.
In this section of the sermon, the Buddha offers his students one final piece of advice.
“Therefore, be ye lamps unto yourselves, be a refuge to yourselves. Hold fast to Truth as a lamp; hold fast to the truth as a refuge. Look not for a refuge in anyone beside yourselves. And those, who shall be a lamp unto themselves, shall betake themselves to no external refuge, but holding fast to the Truth (the Dharma) as their lamp, and holding fast to the Truth (the Dharma) as their refuge, they shall reach the topmost height.”
A common interpretation is to rely on your own practice to improve your conditions both here and now and in any future lives. This is an important point. While the idea of karma can seem fatalistic or even deterministic, the Buddha taught that the individual is capable of, and responsible for, taking steps to improve their life and the world around them through virtuous action. In this part of his last sermon, he reminds the student to depend on themselves in this way.
(Attribution:https://bigthink.com/thinking/essential-introduction-buddhism-8-profound-quotes/)
What virtuous action could you take this holiday season to improve the conditions in your life and, ideally, the world around you?
I want to express my deepest appreciation and love to each of you.
Thank you for your presence—I’m so happy that you are here!
May you be filled with warmth and kindness.
May you be happy, healthy and safe.
May your heart know peace.
In kindness,
Karen
COMING IN 2025!
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) Workshop
A Nurturing Exploration of Your Heart, Body & Mind
with Psychotherapist and Meditation Teacher Dr. Karen Walant
This 8-week Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) workshop is designed to help you tap into your heart, body and mind; learn how to really listen to your inner experience; and explore and utilize mindfulness tools to reduce suffering, better manage anxiety and depression, and experience greater ease and joy in life.
In a safe space with professional, compassionate support, you can begin to turn toward that which you have the tendency to avoid. You’ll learn specifically designed meditations and cognitive behavioral strategies, which we’ll practice over the course of the program, to help access inner wisdom and connect with and cultivate your inner nurturer. As you become friendly with your mind and kinder with your inner self, you’ll gain invaluable resources to navigate life’s inevitable challenges and become a trusted partner to your Self.
Integrating current developments in neuroplasticity with ancient wisdom, this workshop offers powerful mind-heart-body tools and techniques to break free from prolonged periods of suffering and turn your mind into a skilled ally that supports you in both long-term health and healing and managing the ups and downs of everyday life.
More information about the course can be found on the 8-Week MBCT Course page of my website.
For those interested in taking this class, enrollment is now open. Please contact me directly at kwalant@gmail.com for more information and pricing.
Practice...
Skillfully Working with the Hindrance of Skeptical Doubt
In skillfully working with any hindrance, the best place to begin is to look to its antidote(s). As mentioned earlier, one antidote to skeptical doubt is curiosity, which we can employ from moving from skeptical or reactive doubt into inquiring doubt. Essentially, you can begin questioning the doubt itself by employing an inquiring, curious mind, also known in Buddhism as a ‘beginner’s mind.’
Another antidote is faith. In Buddhist psychology, the word faith means something different than religion, God or a conventional belief that we often see in the West.
In Buddhist terms, the word faith has a more encompassing meaning that includes having confidence in, trust in, and a commitment to deepen—all while leaving open space for questioning as part of the ongoing inquiry into whatever it is that we place our faith within. To add to this, the Pali word for faith is SADDHA, meaning “to place the heart upon.”
For me, I immediately think of the many times that I’ve put my heart and soul into something, becoming wholeheartedly devoted and determined to immerse myself in the action/belief/skill building that I’ve set out to learn and create.
Finally, strengthening self-confidence and our trust in ourselves can help dissolve this hindrance. For instance, when in times of doubt, we can reflect back on times when we have been successful, when we trusted our gut, when we’ve brought goodness into the world.
As you explore your relationship with doubt in the coming month (and beyond), these simple tips can help you work with this final of the hindrances, especially when it comes to building confidence and trust, in a more skillful and loving way.
Take in the good and remind yourself of moments when you have been successful.
Remember that we all make mistakes. Growth (and successes) comes from learning from the mistakes and mishaps.
Things won’t always go our way. We cannot predict or control anything. But, we can do our very best to show up with clarity, compassion and love, being all that we can be in each present moment, staying in faith rather than succumbing to fear and doubt.
We are often our own worst critic. This can be softened and even dissolved by asking friends, loved ones and colleagues how they see you. Their answers may provide a bit of a confidence boost and a reality check for that inner critic.
Update your inner experience of yourself. Who are you now, today? Challenge old stories and limiting beliefs. Just because something didn’t work in the past doesn’t mean that it still isn’t possible now.
Embrace uncertainty, as life is full of it! Rather than live in dread and fear and become immobilized by doubt, try to cultivate a sense of trust in yourself and a realistic appreciation in this world. When things feel especially tough, remind yourself that you have gotten through difficult times before and you will again.
Allow Inquiring Doubt to be your ally, remaining alongside you as a friend. Question skeptical doubt with a curious, beginner’s mind. Allow a sense of newness to flood out the doubt, knowing that you are always in a new present moment and that anything is possible.
Resources
Read...
Doubting Doubt: Practicing With the Final Hindrance. In this Insight Meditation Center article, author Gil Fronsdal explains the importance of working with all the hindrances, which he says should not be seen as unfortunate experiences, but rather opportunities for strengthening ourselves and our practice. For Fronsdal, this is especially the case with doubt. With insight, he delves into the various forms of doubt and offers ways to skillfully recognize and work with this hindrance. Through building confidence and connecting with inspiration, we may transform doubt into newfound freedom.
Watch...
Yourself and how doubt and the other four hindrances may be showing up in your life. The Watch resource this month is YOU. And the invitation is to slow down. When we slow down and pay attention on purpose, aka, practice mindfulness, we're able to see ourselves with more clarity, which is one of the main reasons that we work with the hindrances to begin with—to clearly see that which is really there. As you move through this month, watch yourself closely, noting when you experience any clinging, aversion, sloth, torpor, restlessness, worry or doubt. And, then encourage yourself to stay with and work with it.
Listen...
Radiating METTA. This recording, which you'll see toward the top of the list of guided meditation list on my website, is a heart-centered practice designed to help expand the heart space and increase your sense of connectedness with yourself and the entirety of the world. Radiating Metta is a practice suggested by the Buddha himself. In this practice you'll be invited to send lovingkindness, blessings and warm wishes out to people you know and love, people you do not know, people who you find challenging, to yourself, and to every sentient being in the world, and to receive that lovingkindness back.
In case you’re unaware and interested, I offer an online, donation-based meditation class/guided practice every other Monday night 8-9pm EST in a relaxed and warm setting on Zoom. The only requirement is an interest in increasing mindful awareness and skills through practice and growing your inner wisdom. If you’re interested in beginning, reconnecting with or deepening your meditation practice in community, we’d love for you to join us! Get more details and register here.
Also, if you know of anyone interested in deepening their mindfulness and meditation practices, please forward this email along and invite them to join as well! All are welcome and can sign up for the newsletter on my website.
Dr. Karen Walant has been a practicing psychotherapist for almost three decades and holds a MSW and PhD in Clinical Social Work from New York University. Karen supervises other clinicians in private practice and has given lectures around the country on issues related to attachment, mindfulness, meditation, addiction and recovery, deepening the therapeutic relationship, parenting with kindness, and fostering compassionate relationships. She is the author of Creating the Capacity for Attachment: Treating Addictions and the Alienated Self. A long-time meditator and teacher, Karen is a 2021 graduate of the 2-year Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Training Program (taught by meditation experts Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield), is certified as a Mindfulness Meditation Mentor, and is certified as a Level I Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) Teacher through Brown University, and completed her Certificate in Mindfulness and Psychotherapy from the Institute for Mindfulness and Psychotherapy in 2022.