February is the perfect month to practice a pause for love.
This idea is a simple one—pausing periodically to notice, celebrate, and appreciate love. However, it’s a very powerful practice.
Valentine’s Day puts love on the brain. If you’re in a happy romantic relationship, then you might be joyfully thinking about love. On the other hand, if you’re not, then all of the attention on love can just make you feel your aloneness more sharply.
Regardless of where you’re at in your love life, you do have a lot to love around you. By implementing the practice of a pause for love, you increase your awareness of it. As a result, you feel enhanced joy. Furthermore, you generate additional feelings of love in your daily life.
What Is a Pause for Love?
A pause for love is simply a break that you take to revel in the joy of everyday experiences and ordinary relationships. It’s based on Tara Brach’s suggestion of asking yourself, “What do I love?”
Here are the steps to take:
Pause internally at various points throughout the day.
Then ask yourself the above question, “What do I love?”
Look around you with a fresh perspective.
Truly notice the person that you are with or the situation that you are in.
Next, deeply take in an internal snapshot of the moment or interaction.
In other words, notice what you love. Really pause to feel it.
The pause for love is a sacred treasure. It is a gift that you can give yourself all throughout the day to magnify the love in your life. Practice this pause with everything that surrounds you — stores you pass on your way to work; clouds you see as you walk your dog; spices you use as you cook your dinner, etc etc.
Part Two of Pause for Love: Gratitude
It’s important that you wrap up the pause for love with gratitude. Say thank you, perhaps to the person that you are with or perhaps just internally.
Notice what you appreciate about the person, place, and/or situation. Express gratitude for the life that you have, the experience you are given, and the people you get to enjoy these things with.
This expression of gratitude completes a circle of appreciation and allows love to grow. I embrace this practice in my own life. When I have done this, it has always created an indelible memory in my mind. Even years later, I can bring that memory to the surface and it will bring joy to my heart.
Extend Your Gratitude to Others
February is a month for sharing love. In addition to the pause for love that you give to yourself, you may want to take the time to express gratitude and love to another person.
Think of someone who has been influential, kind, tender, or important to you at some point in your life. Inspire them to pause for love by sending them a handwritten thank you note for what they’ve given you.
Research has shown that receiving a thoughtful, personal thank you note makes feel people inordinately appreciated and ecstatic. As the sender, you might think that it won’t make much of an impact. In fact, people greatly underestimate how much a note that takes only five or ten minutes to write can really help the recipient.
You might even worry that a compliment-filled letter will feel awkward or embarrassing to the person. The research shows the exact opposite. People receiving these letters feel warmth and joy. It’s also really simple.
How to Write a Thank You Note
First, identify the person you want to connect with. Gather their contact information – a mailing address is preferable. Purchase or make a thank you card. Then write a note that includes the following:
What inspired you to reach out
One strong memory for which you are really grateful
A clear expression of how much this meant to you
By sending gratitude in this manner, you can extend the loving focus of Valentine’s Day to people beyond the traditional significant other that many think of during this holiday. You can extend it beyond those who are beloved to you now to those who have been impactful somewhere along the way in your life.
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May love fill your days during this month and always!
And, of course, if you are struggling with love then don’t hesitate to reach out for help and support. This month triggers loneliness, sadness and angst for a lot of people. Learn more about therapy for depression here.