It is known that the Buddha began his search for enlightenment by giving up all indulgent experience. After living a life of wealth in which he was provided with everything he wanted—and more—he joined a group of ascetic monastics who ate and slept very little. Having renounced all worldly pursuits to fully devote themselves to spiritual work, these monks believed that giving very little to the body would reduce desire. The Buddha, while interested at first, found that this experience did not encourage transcendence any more than did living a life of comfort and pleasure. It was then that the Buddha came to understand the power of the middle path. This path of not too much and not too little is a path of just right-ness. And, it is in that just right-ness that we can find contentment.
Contentment is a deep practice that can shift our beliefs, deepen our present moment experience and bring ease to our bodies, hearts and minds, yet in our modern world, being content is not something that most Americans can relate with. We live in a society that bombards us with messages saying that we need more of this and less of that, and many, if not most, of us hold tight attachments to ideas, beliefs, perspectives and, of course, physical items, that we may no longer need and that no longer serve us.
This idea of contentment—not having too much, nor too little—and feeling content with what we do have recently came to the forefront of mind as I’ve been cleaning out our family home of 30 years. While my husband and I have been in the throes of moving, the psychotherapist and meditator in me has been watching my mind vacillating back and forth about what to move with us and what to let go of—trying to find that “just right-ness.” I knew that we had way too much stuff, yet the process of figuring out what I could be content with keeping and letting go of was, especially at first, a difficult and even dis-contenting process. The resistance I had to letting go of things was interesting as I pondered thoughts like, maybe someday we would use it, or our kids might want that for their kids, or it tells a story about how we used to be. And, of course, there were memories and sentimentalities attached to many things.
But, then I realized that with too much stuff in this home (and in all our homes, heads and hearts), we could not fully see and certainly not fully access the treasures that existed within all the clutter. The clutter—be it physical, mental or emotional—keeps us from being with the treasures that exist in the simplicity of now. Yet, when we release some of this not-needed stuff—physical items, stories, beliefs, perceptions and ideas—we allow for more spaciousness, and within that spaciousness, we can hopefully find a greater sense of contentment.
What is Contentment?
Contentment is a state of being comfortable with enoughness.
In yogic and ethical Indian philosophy, Santosha is the seventh “jewel” in the Yamas and Niyamas (tenets to live by), and the literal translation of Santosha is “completely content with, or satisfied with, accepting and comfortable.” In The Yamas and Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice, author Deborah Adele writes, “Contentment can only be found in acceptance and appreciation of what is in the moment. The more we learn to leave ‘what is’ alone, the more contentment will quietly and steadily find us.” And, meditation teacher and author Christina Feldman describes contentment as “a sense of wellbeing with no wish for anything else,” which, I think for most of us, is a tall order, and important to address.
Contentment is not a state that just lasts. We practice turning toward this state of “enoughness” as best we can in each moment. With time and practice, we may begin to cultivate more ease, and even contentment, in places and spaces in which we were once searching for something different.
Practicing Contentment
Here are a few tips that can help with practicing contentment.
Less is more: the less we have, the more easily we can see.
Give to others that which is no longer needed and keep what is treasured.
Treasure what has been chosen to keep.
Contentment arises from restraint, acceptance and appreciation.
As we restrain from over-doing—over-striving, over-wording, over-filling—we can rest in a state of enoughness.
In order to see and be content with the treasure that is already here, clutter must be released.
Releasing Into “This, Fresh Moment”
Releasing, which many of us must do in order to let go of what’s keeping us from experiencing contentment, certainly applies to the letting go of physical stuff, but we can also release relationships, limiting self-beliefs, limiting beliefs about others and the world, the outdated stories we tell ourselves, and so on and so forth.
Whenever we release, we are creating an ending, which immediately creates space for a new beginning. You’ve likely heard the phrase, “with every ending comes a new beginning,” of which, I recently learned the Hindu translation is, “this, fresh moment.”
In “this, fresh moment,” we release physical items that we choose to give away, beliefs we choose to detach from, thoughts that are not in alignment with our values, and relationships that are no longer serving the highest good.
If you are experiencing difficulty releasing something, I invite you to ponder these questions:
Is it benefiting me to continue seeing/being with this thing or myself in the same way?
Am I clinging?
Is there a new/different way I could be with this experience so that I can release it?
As you ask yourself these questions, also keep in front of mind—and remind yourself over and over—that what ends—what we release—creates the space for a fresh, new beginning.
With Less, We See More
As we’re getting toward the end of the clean-out and moving process, the idea of less is more is really landing for me. With less, I’m able to see more. And not just with physical items—although that was certainly true when I found a shirt that I loved that I had totally forgotten about, and with so many of our clothes given away, I can actually see (and wear) everything that hangs in the closet!
I think the process of releasing helped me see more clearly with less in the way. As physical items went, there was also a release of attachment after attachment to a memory, a thought, a story about who I once was, a projection into the future. As I chose to release physical items and the mental and emotional attachment to these items, I found myself studying the process I needed to find contentment—or at least some percentage of it—as I was choosing what to keep and what to release.
As I let go of dishes, frames, art supplies, and all the other things, rather than hold tight to the stories I had weaved around these items, I began to let the stories go too, and what arose was joy. With the resistance gone (or greatly subsided), I actually felt content. I was content in my thinking about whose hands might hold these items next, and I began to experience joy in letting go of things we really no longer needed. Joy for the spaciousness that was being created. And, joy for the newness that would fill that space.
As we point ourselves toward contentment, we almost naturally move into more ease. And, when we release ourselves from what has chained us, we allow for more space to be with the treasures we choose to remain with us.
The Most Alive Practice
Contentment is a deep, ongoing, “alive” practice—alive in that it must be practiced in every moment as we accept and appreciate all that is within and around us in every moment. This practice is one that can truly shift our beliefs, enrich our lives and offer ease to our bodies and minds. Like in the story of the Buddha that began this post, when we find that just-rightness and know what to keep and what to release—accepting and appreciating all that exists along the way—we may, slowly but surely, move further along the spectrum of contentment.
As Lao Tsu once said, “He who knows when enough is enough will always have enough.”
Wishing you all the spaciousness and treasures of contentment,
Karen
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