August 2024 Newsletter
The Five Hindrances
Skillfully Working the Hindrance of Sensual Desire
Part Two of Six
“Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny."
-Lao Tzu
Hello, Everyone!
I hope that you are all well and engaging in some unstructured, in-joyable play this summer!
As promised, the focus this month will be on the first of the 5 Hindrances, which is sensual desire. However, before diving into that, I want to share a personal story about how I very recently found myself in a full-on fun state, given that play was our summer kick-off focus in June.
As some of you know, my husband and I recently moved into a home on a beautiful lake in rural Massachusetts. We met neighbors almost immediately, and quickly learned that this community is all about fun and engages in A LOT of summertime play. This is not something that I knew when I wrote the June newsletter, which focused on presence and play, and has come as a delightful, albeit, at times, exhausting surprise! Everyone has been very welcoming, and we’ve enjoyed dinners, boat rides and community games, including an annual shuffleboard tournament, in which I experienced this fabulous fun state!
It’s important to note that I have never played shuffleboard in my life and I am not a competitive person, whereas pretty much everyone in this group was well versed in the game and many were highly focused on winning the annual first place prize.
The tournament is played in pairs, randomly selected. To my good fortune, I was paired with a man who was on the winning team last year. With a beginner’s mind, which I’ve talked about often in this newsletter and our biweekly online meditation class, I took to the game and played fairly well, helping us secure second place!
For me, however, the game was not about how we did. Aside from some sense of obligation to help my partner maintain his championship title, I had zero attachment to the outcome.
Rather, I was fully present, using my breath to help me move the puck, often feeling like I was in the “zone,” and consistently delighting in every moment of this new game and a wonderful evening with friends. The night flew by, with no thoughts of what had come before the game or what would happen afterward. Instead, I experienced a fun state. The ‘fun state’ is defined by Catherine Price, author of The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again, as “a state in which we experience playfulness, connection to others, and flow—that feeling when you lose track if time because you are in the zone and not worried about how you look or how well your perform.”
Finding myself in that fun state was wonderful!
For more on play and fun, I invite you to check out my June blog post: Have More Fun & Develop A Practice of Playfulness.
And, for more on practicing living with a beginner’s mind, you might also enjoy, 5 Practices & A Meditation To Help Lead And Live With a Beginner’s Mind.
The First Hindrance: Sensual Desire
I realized when thinking back upon about my recent fun state experience that it can be used to begin a conversation about the hindrance of sensual desire.
Sensual desire, or kāmacchanda, is the first of the five mental obstacles that prevent awakening and freedom. This hindrance focuses on fantasy, often manifests as the constant pursuit of pleasure, and “chanda” literally translates into “wanting.” This hindrance distracts us from the present moment and can lead to unskillful action in meditation and in our everyday lives.
In connecting this hindrance to my recent experience in that fun, flow state, in which I was fully present and unattached to my performance and the outcome of the game, it occurred to me that many of the other players were in a state of wanting. As the title of annual champ comes with bragging rights, they saw the winning of the game as the reward, rather than playing and being present in the moment, which, occurring to the Buddha, is the true reward.
In this state of wanting, some players were in the hindrance of sensual desire and, as such, craved and clung to the desire to win, likely missing a lot of the in-joyment that occurs when we’re focused on what is happening right now—not the shot just missed or consumed with tense anticipation over their performance yet to come.
Working With Sensual Desire
Whether it’s a game, such as shuffleboard, or a more serious consumption into sensual desire that leads into a habit of want or an addiction, this hindrance overshadows our present moment experience. With a craving for or a cling to the constant pursuit of pleasure, there is little room for mindfulness. And, sans mindfulness, we cannot see clearly. In this hindrance, we may become oblivious to what is unfolding around and within in us right now, while glorifying and overestimating how wonderful a particular pleasure would be.
If you find yourself in the throes of sensual desire—whether just at times or if you have come into a habit of want or an addiction—the antidote to this hindrance is to become aware that this hindrance has arisen and then notice how and where you feel this craving in your body. Notice and name it. Notice that you’re noticing it. And, then begin to work with it.
This can be a difficult hindrance to work with, which is why many meditations and practices have been developed to help. The resources below in the READ, WATCH, LISTEN and PRACTICE sections of the newsletter were all thoughtfully created and chosen to help you work with the hindrance of sensual desire.
Cat Tales…
What we all learned about habits and clinging...
It’s been a time of great change for the cats and for my husband and me. First, we’re in a new home; and second, due to a recent unexpected event, Dave and I needed to leave the cats at our new home for several days. Fortunately, new friends agreed to feed and visit with the sibling cat trio, although not to sleep over, and their morning routine is a big thing in our home.
New for us and new for them, yet without another option, off we went.
Our absence seemed to affect Max, in particular. Our friends told us that he mostly stayed under the bed. To try to help coax him out and soften his distress, their 5-year-old granddaughter took his food dish to him. Lying down next to him under the bed, she spoke gently and soothingly about fear, about how it’s important to breathe in and out and that sometimes we just need to trust that everything will work out just fine. Having been stung by a bee this summer and fearing the outdoors for a while, she had recently learned this herself.
With Max, she compassionately offered to him what she had learned—slowly, breathing in and breathing out, taking each moment as it comes and letting go of the fear that grips so tightly.
Our friends also corrected a longstanding behavior that had turned habit—not moving the cats from the three smaller meals a day that they had as kittens to two larger meals a day now that they are grown. This has been a routine that we've been wanting to change, as anyone who has had animals knows how invaluable (and less expensive) it is to feed adult animals just twice a day. Our wonderful neighbors made the correction for us, and it was adopted without any fuss from the cats!
When we came back after four days away, the cats were just fine and so were we. The trio had learned about little children and how fun they could be. Max ventured out from under the bed. And, all three no longer seek out food midday. What we learned is that clinging to what was— the habit of feeding routines and fears about upsetting these cats by leaving—disallowed us from seeing clearly.
This month, the invitation is to notice when you’re in a state of wanting and/or clinging to an idea, routine or habit that you know is not serving your best self and hindering your ability to see clearly.
This may be as simple as what we experienced with the cats or, perhaps, a little more intense, especially if you’re noticing that you are in a habit or want or there is an addiction to a substance or behavior that is calling for your awareness and attention. You may even choose to look at your meditation and/or mindfulness practice to see if and how the hindrance of sensual desire is showing up.
As you delve into this inner work this month, please know that we are ALL affected by these hindrances. As you delve into the hindrance of sensual desire and explore how it may be showing up in your life, be gentle and compassionate and try to hold yourself with big, warm love.
I want to express my deepest appreciation and love to each of you.
Thank you for your presence—I’m so happy that you are here!
May you be filled with warmth and kindness. "
May you be happy, healthy and safe.
May your heart know peace.
In kindness,
Karen
COMING IN 2025!
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) Workshop
A Nurturing Exploration of Your Heart, Body & Mind
with Psychotherapist and Meditation Teacher Dr. Karen Walant
This 8-week Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) workshop is designed to help you tap into your heart, body and mind; learn how to really listen to your inner experience; and explore and utilize mindfulness tools to reduce suffering, better manage anxiety and depression, and experience greater ease and joy in life.
In a safe space with professional, compassionate support, you can begin to turn toward that which you have the tendency to avoid. You’ll learn specifically designed meditations and cognitive behavioral strategies, which we’ll practice over the course of the program, to help access inner wisdom and connect with and cultivate your inner nurturer. As you become friendly with your mind and kinder with your inner self, you’ll gain invaluable resources to navigate life’s inevitable challenges and become a trusted partner to your Self.
Integrating current developments in neuroplasticity with ancient wisdom, this workshop offers powerful mind-heart-body tools and techniques to break free from prolonged periods of suffering and turn your mind into a skilled ally that supports you in both long-term health and healing and managing the ups and downs of everyday life.
More information about the course can be found on the 8-Week MBCT Course page of my website.
For those interested in taking this class, enrollment is now open. Please contact me directly at kwalant@gmail.com for more information and pricing.
Practice...
RAIN MEDITATIONS TO HELP CALM CRAVINGS & CLINGING
It has been said that the antidote to sensual desire is to change focus, which can be challenging, especially when we find ourselves caught up in a strong craving or clinging. Thankfully, there are tools that can help—notably the RAIN technique, which takes us through a series of explorations that can help mitigate anxiety, cultivate self-compassion, learn how to be with difficult thoughts, emotions and sensations, and improve emotional self-regulation skills.
Developed decades ago by Michele McDonald, RAIN is a mindfulness practice, meditation and tool that we can employ when feeling overwhelmed by thoughts and emotions and when in the throes of the hindrance of sensual desire.
RAIN is an acronym that stands for:
R - Recognize whatever is here.
A - Allow it to be here.
I - Investigate. Get curious and deepen your interest in what is here.
N - Nurture yourself in the moment AND practice Non-Identification with the craving—the “this” that has arisen—AND be in the NOW.
Since McDonald created RAIN, it has been further developed and used by many meditation teachers and practitioners, each taking a slightly different approach. For renowned meditation teacher Tara Brach, the N is to NURTURE, which allows us to exercise self-compassion, an important part of the process of letting anything go. For psychiatrist and neuroscientist Judson Brewer who is well known for his work in addiction, the N stands for NON-IDENTIFICATION and/or NOW, helping us to calm the craving mind and return to the present moment. And, in my practice and teachings, I utilize RAIN to help cultivate the inner nurturer, anchor into present moment awareness and turn care toward yourself.
There a many meditations on RAIN easily found with a quick Google search. For this month's practice, I invite you to listen to two guided RAIN mediations that I developed and recorded, which can be found on the Mindfulness Meditations Recordings page on my website.
RAIN meditation to support you in difficult times, adapted by Tara Brach
You'll need to scroll down some to access these meditations. And, while you're in there, perhaps you'll notice other meditations, recorded over the years and all free to enjoy, that can support you on your personal journey. If any speak to you and you feel called to share with others, please do so. I only ask that if you post online that proper attribution is given.
Please enjoy these meditations as you explore your relationship to the hindrance of sensual desire and begin taking mindful action to move into increased present moment awareness while freeing yourself of this hindrance that keeps us from seeing clearly.
Read...
Sensual Desire as a Hindrance. Insight Mediation Center—adapted from a talk by Gil Fronsdal. In this insightful transcript, American Buddhist, writer and scholar, Fronsdal takes us through the qualities of sensual desire and how this hindrance moves us into a state of compulsion, in which, we are not free. He also offers specific practices that can help us skillfully work with sensual desire, getting curious about it and into the underbelly of what is causing the clinging, craving or compulsion, with the intent to move out of desire and into a more present and freeing way of being.
Watch...
A simple way to break a bad habit|Judson Brewer|TEDMED 2015. In his talk on breaking habits, neuroscientist, addiction psychiatrist and author Judson Brewer, aka Dr. Jud, offers insight into how habits are formed—trigger, behavior, reward process— and the relationship between mindfulness and addiction. For Brewer, it's mindfulness and our natural capacity to get curious that can help us honestly and practically explore why we engage in an unwanted habit, focusing on the parts that we do not want or like, and eventually landing in a place of disenchantment and a newfound ability to let it go.
Listen...
Being Well Podcast: How to Become a Disciplined Person. In this episode, the father/duo delves into discipline, which is essential to accomplishing what we want to create in life AND, in a culture focused on pleasure, very hard to develop. Listen to hear about Rick's personal journey of learning how to become disciplined and to learn ways to make frustrating tasks rewarding, identifying your key wants, needs and aspirations, and how to shift out of a negative mindset. And, more on the main key to cultivating discipline: engaging in your life and knowing what you really care about.
In case you’re unaware and interested, I offer an online, donation-based meditation class/guided practice every other Monday night 8-9pm EST in a relaxed and warm setting on Zoom. The only requirement is an interest in increasing mindful awareness and skills through practice and growing your inner wisdom. If you’re interested in beginning, reconnecting with or deepening your meditation practice in community, we’d love for you to join us! Get more details and register here.
Also, if you know of anyone interested in deepening their mindfulness and meditation practices, please forward this email along and invite them to join as well! All are welcome and can sign up for the newsletter on my website.
Dr. Karen Walant has been a practicing psychotherapist for almost three decades and holds a MSW and PhD in Clinical Social Work from New York University. Karen supervises other clinicians in private practice and has given lectures around the country on issues related to attachment, mindfulness, meditation, addiction and recovery, deepening the therapeutic relationship, parenting with kindness, and fostering compassionate relationships. She is the author of Creating the Capacity for Attachment: Treating Addictions and the Alienated Self. A long-time meditator and teacher, Karen is a 2021 graduate of the 2-year Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Training Program (taught by meditation experts Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield), is certified as a Mindfulness Meditation Mentor, and is certified as a Level I Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) Teacher through Brown University, and completed her Certificate in Mindfulness and Psychotherapy from the Institute for Mindfulness and Psychotherapy in 2022.