September 2024 Newsletter
The Five Hindrances
Skillfully Working the Hindrance of Ill Will
Part Three of Six
“Weeds are the ruins of fields; Ill-will is the ruin of people"
(Dhammapada 357)
Happy Autumn, Everyone!
I hope that you all enjoyed a lovely summer and, with the fall equinox recently past, are beginning to feel into the rhythm of shorter days of sunlight and cooler nights. Once again, and as always, change is upon us, which the shifting of seasons always so beautifully demonstrates. Fall, in particular, seems to really reveal impermanence. In this season, as we’re harvesting summer’s bounty, we get to witness that which was new in the spring and grown in the summer within our hands or gently returning to the earth, to become dormant in the winter months and, in this magnificent cycle of life, become renewed once again come next spring.
The Hindrance of Ill Will
Returning to the hindrances, the overarching invitation of the Buddha was to encourage mindfulness and our ability to clearly see what’s actually happening in the moment we’re in, as well as to sustain our ability to concentrate and process that which we are experiencing. It is the five hindrances (blockages and challenges), which the Buddha identified centuries ago, that obstruct the mind and our ability to fully experience the present moment.
In this month’s newsletter, our focus is on the second hindrance, which is ill will. The hindrance of ill will—often referred to as aversion—pairs with the first hindrance of sensual desire, its opposite, which was discussed in the August 2024 newsletter. In sensual desire, we are in a state of wanting, perhaps having developed a ‘habit of want’ or even an addiction. On the other side of the coin, in ill will, we are in a state of not wanting, anger, hatred and in the energy of pushing away.
As a hindrance, ill will arises when we don’t like something, or a quality/behavior of someone else or ourselves, and we want it gone. In the throes of this hindrance, we might experience pain, discomfort, disgust and even rage. We fixate on the focus of our ill will, trying to push what we dislike away; however, in ill will, we are like water that is heated to a boil, bubbling over. Filled with heat, the pushing away only creates more boiling bubbles and steam, and we are unable to see with clarity.
Aversion is often taught by looking at anger toward others and how anger, like water boiling over, makes it hard to see things clearly. The Buddha noted that anger has to have an anchor. Either we are angry at another person (or persons, situations, etc), which manifests as blame. And/or, we are angry at ourselves. In the latter, we may speak to ourselves in critical, mean ways and feel unable to accept that we are beings who deserve our own loving compassion and understanding. Since what is inside of us is often what we project into the world outside of ourselves, beginning to get curious about and compassionate toward self-directed ill will is a good place to start when working with this particular hindrance.
Softening Ill Will Toward the Self
Most of us are conditioned to be harder on ourselves than we are on others. And, in addition to the inner critic, many—if not most of us— also have an aversion to being IN the present moment, which we also push away. Our default mode network seems to kick on the minute we have nothing going on. Rather than simply be, we might immediately reach for our phone to scroll or engage in another distraction behavior because the thought or idea or feeling of just being with ourselves might feel unknown or uncomfortable or even painful, and becomes something to be avoided or pushed away.
When we experience an aversion to ourselves through negative inner speech, we are placing both blame and shame onto ourselves and pushing our own self away through anger and perhaps even hatred. In these moments, we are not able to extend a kindness to ourselves or a forgiveness for whatever we are upset with ourselves about, and this hindrance can lead to much suffering. When in this state, we might also become more easily angry or frustrated with others, placing ill will onto them, which may make them feel and behave less friendly toward us—and this cycle of ill will is perpetuated.
Two antidotes to ill will are loving kindness (metta) and compassion. The word “metta” comes from the Pali language and translates to ‘good will,’ ‘lovingkindness’ or ‘boundless friendliness.’ Practicing metta and compassion can help us dissolve the barriers that lead to ill will and more easily and deeply connect with others and ourselves. To learn more about these antidotes to ill will and for simple compassion and loving kindness practices, see a blog post I wrote a while back, Increasing Compassion: Benefit Yourself And Others Through Loving Kindness And Meditation.
When it comes to mitigating ill will toward ourselves the answer is always self-compassion, which can feel difficult for many of us to turn toward. If you experience this difficulty, you might begin to open to self-compassion by envisioning that you are your own friend—a good friend who you would not treat in a critical manner. You might also start to notice, aside from the inner critic, other ways in which you are not treating yourself with care. Perhaps you have a perpetual habit of unkindness or impatience with yourself. Maybe you do not share what you need with others, which, when unexpressed, can turn into resentments of self or others. Or perhaps you are unkind to your physical body. See if you can get interested in any ill will you might feel toward yourself. Once you’re aware of it, you can open further and deepen understanding into the nature, purpose and, perhaps, even habit of the inner anger.
On Self-Compassion
Self-compassion approaches start with three premises:
All of humanity suffers and makes mistakes.
All of us have moments when we are in suffering.
All of us can learn to turn toward ourselves in a caring, nurturant manner and treat ourselves in a kind way.
Turning toward our own selves, with an interest and a caring manner, is what the Buddha asked of us.
Even as a mother protects with her life
Her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart
Should one cherish all living beings
From the Karaniyametta Sutta (“Discourse on Loving-Kindness”)
The Buddha suggested that we would do best to turn toward all living beings, including (and perhaps especially) our own selves with the care of a loving mother toward her child. When practiced regularly, we can soften the experience of aversion (toward self or other) and lovingly turn toward our minds and hearts with curiosity and compassion.
Cat Tales…
Softening Ill Will
Our adorable Pearl has been going through an evolution of sorts…
It’s well known in our home that Eve has always seemed a bit annoyed and even jealous with Pearl at times, which I recently re-evaluated while watching the sibling trio interactions a little more closely. I began to see that Pearl’s devotion to my lap was, in some sense, ‘resource guarding’— meaning she gave the other cats little opportunity for lap time with their humans. For Pearl, of course, it was heaven—note the picture of Pearl hiding in my jacket, purring away! For Max and Eve, not so much.
Making note of this, I began to give more attention to Eve at other times; same with Max. And, an odd thing began to happen. Rather than continue to guard my lap, Pearl began picking her own chair to sleep in. Max has taken to jumping into my now free lap. And, even Eve is asking for a snuggle at bedtime. The lesson? What seems to be sweetness can actually be over-consumption. And anger (or jealousy, resentent) can be softened when examined, understood and soothed.
As we move into October and deeper into the fall season, which is a time ripe for introspection, this month's invitation in working with the hindrance of ill is to notice something or someone (this could include yourself) that you’re harboring ill will toward. And then to get curious about it.
Ask yourself questions about what it might be covering or protecting.
Is it supporting a belief you hold or benefiting you in any way?
You might also investigate body sensations that arise when you think about the source of your ill will. If there’s discomfort, notice if you’ve been fixating on that, noting, as is pointed out in the article highlighted in this month’s READ section, that “as long as we fixate on what we don’t like, we won’t know how uncomfortable we feel.”
Perhaps, it’s an uncomfortableness that wants to be felt in order for you, for us all, to begin to see more clearly.
I want to express my deepest appreciation and love to each of you.
Thank you for your presence—I’m so happy that you are here!
May you be filled with warmth and kindness.
May you be happy, healthy and safe.
May your heart know peace.
In kindness,
Karen
ABOUT THE PHOTO
I took the picture above of this lovely white flowering border plant that I see on my daily walks in Phillipston, MA, thinking it might make for a nice border at our home. That was until I read about the plant, which I learned is Japanese Knotweed!
As a public service announcement for all of you—and also because it is so fitting given the link between ill will and weeds—Japanese Knotweed is a highly destructive invasive species that is rapidly affecting the New England/Eastern US region. It grows quickly, has an extensive root system, is quite hardy, quickly takes over large swaths of land, and is hard to remove because the roots are so strong. So strong that it invades cracks in cement foundations, walls, drainage systems, and paved roads!
The knotweed is a great metaphor for ill will. Like weeds, we, too, get tangled up in thoughts/emotions that we think are useful, only to find that they are destructive and dangerous to our foundation—to our body, to our hearts and to our minds. We can look at how quickly and strongly the knotweed takes off as a great reminder to be careful about what we plant in our lives.
P.S.: A few of you have asked if there is a way to easily access all of the newsletter content. To archive these and get them up on the website, we're currently working on moving all newsletters into blog posts, which will soon be available in the Blog section of my website.
COMING IN 2025!
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) Workshop
A Nurturing Exploration of Your Heart, Body & Mind
with Psychotherapist and Meditation Teacher Dr. Karen Walant
This 8-week Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) workshop is designed to help you tap into your heart, body and mind; learn how to really listen to your inner experience; and explore and utilize mindfulness tools to reduce suffering, better manage anxiety and depression, and experience greater ease and joy in life.
In a safe space with professional, compassionate support, you can begin to turn toward that which you have the tendency to avoid. You’ll learn specifically designed meditations and cognitive behavioral strategies, which we’ll practice over the course of the program, to help access inner wisdom and connect with and cultivate your inner nurturer. As you become friendly with your mind and kinder with your inner self, you’ll gain invaluable resources to navigate life’s inevitable challenges and become a trusted partner to your Self.
Integrating current developments in neuroplasticity with ancient wisdom, this workshop offers powerful mind-heart-body tools and techniques to break free from prolonged periods of suffering and turn your mind into a skilled ally that supports you in both long-term health and healing and managing the ups and downs of everyday life.
More information about the course can be found on the 8-Week MBCT Course page of my website.
For those interested in taking this class, enrollment is now open. Please contact me directly at kwalant@gmail.com for more information and pricing.
Practice...
Speaking With the Inner Heart - A Guided Meditation
This guided meditation was designed to help us notice and skillfully work with the hindrance of ill will. Through focusing on a loving interest in the self, this meditation supports us in working with the common experiences of unkind inner dialogue, aversions and other inner experiences that attempt to pull us away from seeing clearly and being in the NOW that is already here.
Read...
The Hindrance of Ill Will. In this Insight Meditation Center essay, author Gil Fronsdal, American Buddhist, writer and scholar, invites us to explore where we put our attention. In the hindrance of ill will, which in the Buddha's language translates to a desire to strike out, the focus is to want to turn away from something. However, to work with it, he explains that we must be willing to turn toward it and investigate the ill will itself. In addition to becoming curious, Fronsdal also suggests learning how to mindfully stay with the ill will and face difficult emotion, without getting hooked into the pull of aversion.
Watch...
Touching the Void: The True Story of One Man's Miraculous Survival. This 2003 survival documentary, which we watched with our two sons, takes us through the experience of Joe Simpson and Simon Yates, two experienced mountaineers. On this expedition, Simpson falls, suffers a broken leg and his partner believes him dead. Injured, dehydrated and frostbitten, the movie details Simpson's experience of survival, investigating and turning toward aversion—foot-by-foot, as he painfully and slowly pushes himself up through a crevice and navigates himself back to camp. Inspiring and insightful.
Listen...
The 5 Things That Are Ruining Your Meditation (and Your Life) And How to Handle Them. In this Ten Percent Happier episode, Dan talks with Bonnie Duran, dharma teacher and Native American scholar about the 5 hindrances, the challenges they present in both meditation and in our lives and how to skillfully work with them. Duran also offers insight on how to cultivate a 'sky-like' attitude and not water the seeds of negativity, as well as explores the similarities between indigenous belief and what the Buddha taught. Informative episode that provides more insight into the hindrances and their antidotes.
In case you’re unaware and interested, I offer an online, donation-based meditation class/guided practice every other Monday night 8-9pm EST in a relaxed and warm setting on Zoom. The only requirement is an interest in increasing mindful awareness and skills through practice and growing your inner wisdom. If you’re interested in beginning, reconnecting with or deepening your meditation practice in community, we’d love for you to join us! Get more details and register here.
Also, if you know of anyone interested in deepening their mindfulness and meditation practices, please forward this email along and invite them to join as well! All are welcome and can sign up for the newsletter on my website.
Dr. Karen Walant has been a practicing psychotherapist for almost three decades and holds a MSW and PhD in Clinical Social Work from New York University. Karen supervises other clinicians in private practice and has given lectures around the country on issues related to attachment, mindfulness, meditation, addiction and recovery, deepening the therapeutic relationship, parenting with kindness, and fostering compassionate relationships. She is the author of Creating the Capacity for Attachment: Treating Addictions and the Alienated Self. A long-time meditator and teacher, Karen is a 2021 graduate of the 2-year Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Training Program (taught by meditation experts Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield), is certified as a Mindfulness Meditation Mentor, and is certified as a Level I Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) Teacher through Brown University, and completed her Certificate in Mindfulness and Psychotherapy from the Institute for Mindfulness and Psychotherapy in 2022.