During the holiday season, your social calendar is probably much busier than usual. Going to holiday gatherings often means chatting with relatives you rarely see and meeting new people.
If you ever find yourself feeling anxious in social situations, this merry season can actually be quite stressful. Perhaps you’re nervous about what your extended family members think of you, or you’re worried that you’ll put your foot in your mouth at a festive and formal event.
For introverts, all of the socializing during the holiday season can feel overwhelming. But with a little practice, you can take a deep breath and feel secure in your conversational skills.
Here are five tips to help you relax into conversation and get comfortable as you socialize at holiday parties.
1. Slow Your Breathing
Author L. Carol Ritchie recommends breathing slowly to relax into conversation. Slowly inhaling, and then slowing your breath down even further as you exhale, can help soothe your nervous system within minutes.
For a few moments, focus on breathing in and out at a steady rhythm, and feel how your anxiety settles. This strategy is so easy that it can feel like a magic trick—within a short time, your nervous jitters can practically disappear.
2. Shift Your Body Language
One of the simplest ways to relax into conversation with little effort is to pay attention to your body language. Consider whether or not you’re closing yourself off to interaction.
Uncross your arms and legs. Relax your jaw. Drop your shoulders. Move forward a bit to engage with the conversation. There is a strong connection between your mind and body, and adjusting your posture can help you feel more confident and relaxed.
3. Know Your Worth
Ritchie also recommends remembering that you bring value to each conversation in which you participate. You do not have to be the wittiest or most extroverted person in the group to contribute something interesting.
We tend to put ourselves down while introducing ourselves to new people. We worry that we’re not good enough to hold their attention, or that we aren’t worth listening to. Affirm your own value as you offer your opinion—we can all say something worth hearing.
4. Lighten the Mood
This time of year, everyone is a little stressed out. Although the holidays are supposed to be a time for fun and family, we often end up overextending ourselves and feel on edge because of it. Sometimes, conversations will turn into venting sessions, with everyone comparing to-do lists and trading complaints. And in some families, a turn to politics could lead to disaster.
However, you can lighten the mood and bring back the holiday spirit. If politics could be tricky, calmly inform others that you are on a '“politics-free” vacation. Be willing to crack a joke or two, or steer the conversation in a more positive direction. See if you can get everyone swapping stories about their favorite holiday traditions or best memories of the holidays when they were young.
5. Remember This Is Temporary
What if you’re stuck in an awkward conversation with no easy way out? What if you make a joke and the punchline falls flat? And what if that one relative who you never got along with is making it a point to judge your most recent life choices?
Sometimes, there’s just no way around the fact that conversations around the holiday season can be tense. If you find yourself in this position, just return to your slow, steady breathing and remember the magic words: “This too shall pass.”
Acknowledging that this moment is temporary can help you get through it with a smile.
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Struggling with anxiety this holiday season? Want to enter the New Year with newfound knowledge on how to manage your symptoms? Talk therapy for anxiety can be beneficial.
Contact me today to schedule a session or visit my page about therapy for anxiety to learn more about how I can help.