In our busy, fast-paced society, staying calm and mindful can be challenging. It often feels like our attention is being pulled in a million different directions.
These days, it’s tough to stay grounded, and sometimes, our relationships can suffer for it. When we get into disagreements with our loved ones, we might struggle to communicate our needs clearly and feel like we’ve hit a dead end.
What kind of tools can you rely on to help you maintain a stoic mindset, even amid the chaos? Sometimes in heated moments, words can anchor you. Applying a meditation technique of using the phrase “Here. Now. This.” can serve as an affirmation and help you feel more present.
Here’s how to incorporate this soothing present-moment reminder into your everyday life.
When You’re Lost in Thought
We all catch ourselves daydreaming and getting distracted sometimes. Perhaps you find your thoughts drifting when you’re at work, and you procrastinate on your to-do list. Maybe you catch yourself looking at your phone when you should be enjoying dinner with your loved ones. No matter what the scenario is, spending a few moments thinking about this affirmation can help you come back to the present.
Simply thinking to yourself, “Here. Now. This.” can shift your outlook. You may find that even the most mundane tasks are a little more pleasant when you allow yourself to sink into those moments without distraction. When you’re genuinely focused on the here and now, life feels a little more cheerful overall.
During Meditation
When we meditate, we often notice how frequently we can get lost in rehashing the past or worrying about the future. Using the phrase “Here. Now. This.” can help us return to our anchor, whether that be observing the breath, noticing felt sensations in the body, feeling the whole body itself, or sound. Try using this phrase to dissolve thought spirals that can be tough to break out through.
Repeating these words can anchor you and allow you to feel more present. You might focus on the phrase “Here. Now. This.” for a few moments. You can even repeat it out loud like a mantra.
In Times of Conflict
We all get angry sometimes—even those of us who pride ourselves on staying level-headed. And when we get angry, we often end up saying things that we will regret later on. We cringe at the words that came out of our mouths and wonder how we could have let ourselves get so carried away by our negative emotions.
Keeping an affirmation in mind can help us avoid this outcome and make our feelings known without hurting the other person. Remembering the phrase “Here. Now. This.” and taking a deep breath, can change the entire course of the conversation. You will probably find that you’re able to keep a cool head and come to a satisfying compromise.
Communicating with Your Partner
Let the mantra “Here. Now. This.” be your guide when you are in the middle of a difficult conversation. These three words can anchor you as you navigate your discussion and try to reach an outcome that works for both parties.
Consider the overall situation—what’s going on here?—and let your partner know that you’re suffering in the present moment. Then, work to bring the focus for both of you to this conversation at this time.
Don’t think about past conflicts or trying to “keep score.” Think about it in the context of “Here. Now. This.” Give your partner space to share their feelings, too, and consider them without judgment.
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Do you want to feel more present in your everyday life? If you’re struggling to focus and be mindful, therapy can help. Contact me today to discuss your options or visit my page about therapy for anxiety to help you decide if it's right for you.